[TOS] POSSE announcement template email (v.1.0)
mjadud at allegheny.edu
Wed Mar 24 12:06:42 UTC 2010
On Wed, Mar 24, 2010 at 00:39, Mel Chua <mel at redhat.com> wrote:
> Okay, these words aren't coming out quite right, but here's a v.1.0.
> Patches extremely welcome.
I can submit a patch later today. The reason: your first paragraph is
all background, and ends with a rhetorical question. You want your
reader to know, in the first sentence or two, that you are advertising
a workshop for faculty. The details of why (and why they want to be
part of it) can then follow.
Your second paragraph, with a slightly modified first sentence, gets
right into the point of the email quickly. That might serve as a
better starting point. Patch forthcoming...
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