[TOS] POSSE announcement template email (v.1.0)
gdk at redhat.com
Wed Mar 24 14:32:17 UTC 2010
On Wed, 24 Mar 2010, Matthew Jadud wrote:
> Hi Mel,
> On Wed, Mar 24, 2010 at 00:39, Mel Chua <mel at redhat.com> wrote:
>> Okay, these words aren't coming out quite right, but here's a v.1.0.
>> Patches extremely welcome.
> I can submit a patch later today. The reason: your first paragraph is
> all background, and ends with a rhetorical question. You want your
> reader to know, in the first sentence or two, that you are advertising
> a workshop for faculty. The details of why (and why they want to be
> part of it) can then follow.
That was *exactly* what I thought. Glad Matt beat me to it. :)
> Your second paragraph, with a slightly modified first sentence, gets
> right into the point of the email quickly. That might serve as a
> better starting point. Patch forthcoming...
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